We were now friends. As I was paying and waiting, I noticed that she had a handful of note cards that she was going to purchase along with her car wash. And just to keep the conversation going, because it gets kind of awkward when you stand there in silence after you have visited, we introduced ourselves, her name was Marge. I said, looking at her note cards, it is one thing to buy those note cards but I bet you actually write on them and send them. I am afraid that many times I have great intentions but very little follow through. She said with a little smirk and probably a little pride, Honey I am 84 years old, and I have the time to write and I enjoy it. I said 84 years old, wow, who would have thought, you are in great shape and look beautiful. I waited while she paid, and we continued to visit. I said in your 84 years of life, what do you consider to be one of your greatest life lessons? In what regard? she asked in kindness, I said in relationships. She thought for a minute and finally said, I have learned to keep my mouth shut, and listen. But still at my age, that lesson is still being taught she said. That would be my first response to your question, but that question is something good to think about...I smiled and said, your response is a good one for me to thing about.
I advanced to the popcorn, she stayed behind and looked at the pretties in the counter. We crossed paths once more as we were walking out to our cars. I told her that I was a Christian writer, and wrote devotionals, and that each day I try to wait for God's nudge as to what he wants me to write about. I will write of your comment tomorrow, I said, and she got a huge smile on her face and said, I depend on God and each day I get up I remind myself that this is His day. Nice to have met you, she said, me too, I responded.
There is a lot of wisdom that comes from years of living. And listening is one of those activities for some comes very naturally to some but is a challenge for others. I am one of the others. I can't tell you how many times my kids or my husband have said will you just listen and not try to complete a sentence or think you have the answer, or try to finish a story. I am guilty on all accounts. And this brings me to prayer. When we pray, we talk, and tell and ask, but it is God who listens. And we know he hears us by the answers that he gives. Sometimes he answers yes, sometimes no and sometimes wait, but he always listens. And his response is not in word but in deed. Oh, wait it is in word, His word, the bible. But to actually comprehend his word, we have to be able to understand it, and therein lies his reason for Christian friends, mentors, teachers and preachers, but above all His Holy Spirit who helps us decipher and discern good from bad.
We have heard the adage about hearing being more important that talking, for why else would God had given us two ears and only one mouth. The thing about talking is too much that we speak is fruitless and carries no real value. Listening, if we are listening to the right stuff, has an ability to adjust our thinking and give us pause to consider our thoughts and process them. God not only listens to us but wants us to listen to Him. Remember the story of Martha and Mary. Who got the accolades? It wasn't Martha, the one who was physically busy, it was Mary, the one who took time to listen. Although listening may appear to be easy, it is often hard work. True listening requires you give another person your attention and possibly to change your attitudes as you listen. Although listening may appear to be easy, it is hard work. True listening requires you to give undivided attention to someone else and possible change your own attitudes while listening. Real Listening does not just hear the words but endeavors to understand the message.
Just thinking further about listening,and being totally honest here, I am convicted about my habit of interrupting. I do it all the time in conversation. That is why my family says, if you will just listen! And it occurs to me that interruption is merely a reflection of selfishness. Yikes, I so want to run from this, but it is a reality, not just for me for any of us who feel like what we have to say is more important, more knowledgeable, or more significant than what the one who is speaking is saying. Listening is digesting what we have heard. And once digested, if we are slow to speak, we give God the opportunity to interject his thoughts of wisdom and value into our minds before we respond. Marge is right, listening is a good life lesson to nurture.
Here a few bible verses that speak to the topic of listening:
James 1:19 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Proverbs 19:27 Stop listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge
Proverbs 18:13 To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
Psalm 10:17 You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
Psalm 34:11 Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
Psalm 66:18 If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
John 10:27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
Dear Lord, Thank you for conversation at the car wash, and for Marge, who reminded me that the lesson of listening is one to aspire to. Amen
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