Bentley

I woke up to one bark this morning.  It was clearly only in my head but I couldn't shake it.  I had to put my dog Bentley to sleep this week as her little legs had finally given out and she could no longer even get to her water bowl. She was eight.  She was a yellow lab and had been severely crippled since her first year when she ran full throttle into a chain link fence chasing another dog and ending up with a spinal cord injury that could not be repaired. I know that many of you have experienced the same ordeal and it is serenely surreal.  I sat with her on the floor of the vet, her her head resting on my lap and her worn out baby that was once a fully stuffed bear now gone flat and tattered after years of love.  I wasn't going to write on this but after this mornings wake up bark, I am nudged to follow this course. 

I knew this day was coming, just as we all know one day we too will be lifted from this earth into God's heaven. But even though this is not a person, our pets do hold a tight place of love and devotion within the depths of our hearts, and when they are gone we miss them. I could not help but reflect on the years that she has struggled and the perseverance that she has shown.  And then that led me to thinking on the other characteristics that she displayed, as many pets do.  She was fiercely loyal and protective even with her limited mobility and she was content to just lay low on her bed in the kitchen i  the midst of people without demand of attention. She was a cuddle marker for the grandkids for they roll on top of her and play with her ears and check out her tattered paws and  always feel a need to give her treats. Bentley unconditionally loved and was appreciative for every morsel of love that was thrown her way. There are lessons to be learned from pets, and these are a few of them. 

But there are also lessons to be learned from loss.  I can thrown away her beds, and toys and stuff, but her place in the kitchen will be there regardless, and forever I will be reminded of her presence and her watchful eye on every move I made.  

A sweet friend happened to find out about Bentley and sent flowers, something I have never even thought to do for someone who lost a pet. And I put the flowers on the floor when Bentley hung out, they were bright yellow roses.  I don't know why but that eased my sadness more than I could have ever imagine.  Because every time I glanced over to her spot instead of being consumed with sadness those flowers were a reminder that life is a balance. There is sadness that comes with death oh but there are such blessings that come with life. For without life there would be no memories.  

That day I just got in my car and drove and drove, ended up walking aimlessly through the weeds at Round Top and by days end, I agreed to pick up pizza and meet my daughters and the grandkids back at my house. Mel was out of town and they were insistent that I not go home to an empty house.  There is nothing like grandkids to float sadness away especially when you get a hug from one of them who has chosen to stay in your arms and be rocked for 15 minutes; that was my Catherine, age five.  That is life, those are memories being made.  They had all been advised that Bentley was no longer with us before they came and it is so sweet to hear children speak of death.  Blake my oldest said, Bentley can now run and catch balls, cause she will finally be healed.  Another Sam, said Sassy I am glad Bentley is with God.

It is just such a sweet and innocent reminder that God is in charge here.  And he is overseeing death just as he oversees life. 

God is in the trenches with us when we are grieving and facing tough challenges, oh but God is also the way out.  His peace, hope, comfort, grace, strength, faithfulness and power are the stair steps that he provides for us to climb to his highest mountain of joy and live life today expectantly without regret or remorse. Through him we are able to rise to his standards of appreciating this day, this life and the many blessings that are before us.  This is a new day that we have been given. Glory be to God.  

I know there is a perfect bible verse appropriate for this lesson, but I just cannot find it.  I need one that says God gives us perfect  gifts, to ensure his perfect lessons,  and maintains them for his perfect timing, so he can grow us for his perfect purpose. Bentley was given to me for all of those reasons, and for that I am grateful beyond words for her precious life shared with mine!  

Dear Lord, thank you for the blessings of pets and the lessons of love loyalty and contentment that they exhibit without saying a word.  May I be more like my Bentley, appreciating every morsel of love that you throw my way, being content with whatever circumstances have come my way, appreciating my blessings, trusting in your provision and care, and persevering through challenges with a faithfulness and confidence that you are there to care for me always.  Thank you Lord for my Bentley and her long life in spite of her handicaps.    Amen