There were only four of us there...at her house. I stopped by to drop off some flowers, and cookies for the boys. I had no intention of staying..but her mom answered the door and said come on in....so I did. Blake was melted into a high back chair in the den, her best friend sitting on the floor next to her, her mom in another chair just across the coffee table and I sat on the couch. The room was filled with beautiful flowers and a fragrance that floated within the air.
We talked of the service and how beautifully it was done...of pallbeareres that were never decided upon becasue Jack had so many friends she was scared that she would overlook someone and hurt feelings, and of old times and fun times...and Jack times.
But when I asked her what she needed...she candidly and quickly replied "Jack"! She said I don't mean to be rude but he knows where everthing is, and how to pay the bills, and how to best get the boys going in the morning, He knows the bankers, and how to do everything. He ran the house...and our family...he is the one who has all the structure. I need Jack...we were all silent....and then she thought for a minute and continued...I have to be a new "me". And I know that God has been with me through this whole deal. In the hospital and days that followed becasue it is only through His grace that I could have made it... that he will also be with me as I try to raise these boys by myself....and turn me into the new "me" that God wants me need to be.
She said I am not mad at God and I believe with all my heart that God has a plan and this falls into it...and she paused and said...I truly believe that death is not the worse thing...for Jack ,through this ruptured aneurism... if he had survived, could very well have been a vegetable. And how frustrating would that have been for my boys she said. To have a dad who couldn't talk..or couldn't do the things with them...that he alwasy has...and what about if I was making decisions that He didn't agree with...he would not be able to help guide me through stuff...and his frustration to be inside a body that couldn't speak and couldn't react but maybe could hear would be so bad for Him.
We will make it through this..it is going to be hard...but God is here today just as he was last week and the week before and all time before. And the whole time she talked...she talked with confidence...with assurance. Her perspective is a Godly one...that she allowed to be ingrained into her thinking. There is where her thoughts have landed...and it is through that perspective, as long as she stands on it...that she will be able to move on with the challenges that are before her.As I watched her and listened to her...I realized thatshe is not content to accept what this world offers and she has sought higher ground....she is standing on it and in it. It is God's holy place. God has already given her a strength that is His alone to give. And that strength is available to each of us who seek Him and ask Him for it.
Hebrews 13:20-22
20May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, 21equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Our trials very...our personalities vary...but God remains steadfast and in control and the authority of all living things. His grace abounds, His love is the very root that we find our nourishment and strength and comfort and courage to go on in...We know not what lies in front of us...but we do know that God has gone before us and He knows us each personally. If only we make the choice to know Him persoallly...that is what will make the greatest difference in our lives. .
I went over to Blake's house as a reminder to her that there are folks from all over who love her and are praying for her...but I left being reminded that God has already taken His rightful place in her heart and His light is shining brightly for all those who see her to see Him. I was blessed that day to see God's strength...to witness His grace...and to be blessed by His presence in that very room.
That same God is in your very presence today...Nothing is too small or too great for Him to be involved in....Trust Him and depend on Him to carry you through the dark times as well as celebrate with you through your joys... His light will shine through and be a reflection to others who may be seeking a trusted friend...who will NEVER leave their side. And you may be just the one who shows them His light...or they could be just the one who shows it to you...
Dear lord, Thank you or the perspective that Blake shared even in her darkest of times. May you continue to let your grace flow through her and upon her and may others whose paths cross hers be caught in that light and come to know you. Amen
Praise God wherever you are or whatever situation he has allowed you to be in...for His glory will shine through.
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